I am very, very impatient

I have known for quite a few years that I am an impatient person.  Sometimes I try to work on it.  Sometimes I figure that there is nothing I can do to speed things up, so why bother being impatient?  Sometimes being impatient actually means I get stuff done.  I don't always see being impatient as a bad thing.

But this week -- okay the last three plus weeks-- I have been very impatient.  Notice I even put that in bold.  That's because I am tired of waiting.  I am tired of trying to be patient.  I was certain this baby would be early.  And here we are, the day after the due date, and there are no signs that this baby even cares to join the outside world.  You see, with Gloria my due date was moved up by two weeks, and she was born the day before her due date.  Thank you Gloria.  With this baby I kind of thought the same thing might happen.  Nope.  The due date wasn't changed.  It is now after the due date.  I have spent the last three weeks thinking, "maybe today is the day I will have a baby."  And I still don't have a baby.  I have an inside baby, but I would really like to have an outside baby. 

I really think my biggest issue is that I am tired of not knowing.  I have no idea when this baby will come.  I have no idea how this baby will change our lives.  I have no idea how Gloria will react to having a baby live with us.  I want to know if this is a boy baby or a girl baby.  I want to buy baby clothes.  And I have no idea if this baby is now the size of a toddler or a normal sized newborn.  I don't want to give birth to a toddler-sized baby.  Please, don't let this baby be toddler sized.  I feel huge, enormous even (my brother says truck sized), so I think this baby is going to be enormous, and it doesn't help that I have gained 6 pounds in a week.  In one week people.  We can ignore the fact that it was just Christmas and I in no way watched what I ate.  I blame that weight gain all on this baby.  That means this baby is enormous, didn't Phil just gain 6 pounds in a week?  See, toddler baby. 

I am very impatient.  I know there is nothing I can do to speed things up.  I know I will eventually have a baby.  I would like that now please.  Yesterday would have been better.