The post in which I rant a bit

It's been a few weeks since I have posted a list of things I'm thankful for.  I'm finding it rather difficult lately to be thankful.  I'm sure there are things that I'm thankful for, but right now it's easier to wallow in self pity and loneliness.  And when I do that it's easier to think of things that make me grumpy and sad than it is to think of things that I am thankful for.

For instance:  Tony has been working out of town since the beginning of June.  In the last three months he has been home for a total of 5 weekends.  That's right, I have seen him for approximately 15 days in the last three months.  There have been a few people who told me that they would love it if their husband was home that infrequently.  Personally, I hate it.  I hate that he's never here.  I hate that I am by myself.  I hate being a single parent.  I hate that when he is here it's only for 3 days, one of which I work and another is spent getting him ready to leave again.  Let me say, it's not quality time when he is here.  I realize how lonely I am.  I spend all day at a job I find less than entertaining, then I spend a few hours entertaining a small child who screams at me when it's time for bed and then I get to do the dishes/laundry/cleaning before I finally go to bed.  It's not the most entertaining life and I am finding it rather lonely and dull.  I try to visit people occasionally, but that's a challenge to pick Gloria up after work then drive back into the city to visit then drive home again so she can go to bed at a reasonable time.  Let's just say that life is not terribly exciting right now. 

On the other hand, this has made me appreciate Tony a lot more.  Oh, I appreciated him before.  He is a wonderful husband and father and I really like him a lot.  But I never really realized how much he does around here and how much he helps me and how much Gloria likes to play with him.  I rely on him for a lot of things and now that he's not here to help me I miss that.  I miss him being here to support me and be my friend.  I miss having him to talk to (I am not good at phone conversations) and be around.  I miss having him here. 

So appreciate your husband today.  Tell him how wonderful he is.  I will tell my husband when he gets home tomorrow.